dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
