Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
