therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
