Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We need a shit load of segways right now
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
