Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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