i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
