I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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