so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize