Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize