Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
