Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
