you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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