You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
