just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
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If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
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Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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