Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
