ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
