The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Swine flu is the new snow day.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
