Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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