Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
