Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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