let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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