i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
