It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
