I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
