You're completely useless in the revolution.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
