This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
