scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
