my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
