At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
