some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
