Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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