so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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