The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
