I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
