party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
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The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Randomize