i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
