I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
