I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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