ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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