What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
