i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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