I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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