College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
