your parents love me but you hate me
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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