youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
