im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
