There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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