They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
