Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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