I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize