so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
