The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
