This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
