just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
