Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
