I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
