Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
