His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize