are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
