The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
