Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
ttyl tear gas
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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