she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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