I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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