i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
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