doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
