Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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