I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
