All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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