well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
